About Therapy: FAQs

For many, the questions we have about choosing the right therapist are intertwined with questions about what therapy is, and how it will work.

I present the FAQs below to help you to give thought to your expectations and goals, and evaluate what is right for you.

Why do people go into therapy?

We go into therapy for many reasons: we want to deal better with, and feel better about relationships, identity, anxiety, depression, the process of getting older, and the desire to meet life’s goals. Though the reasons are particular to each individual, people often seek therapy either because they are facing unexpected changes, or because they feel stuck and don't know why. Both of these situations can be very stressful and confusing.

Paradoxically, our own thinking is not the most effective tool for examining how we think - but it's the primary tool at hand; in a sense, we're trapped within our own frame of reference. An effective therapist can help us to move beyond the echo-chamber of our thoughts. 

And though we may turn to family and friends we trust, having a “neutral” therapist, removed from our everyday world, allows us to go deeper than we can in other relationships, and explore thoughts and concerns in a safe and very private setting.

I feel like I already know what my problems are.
How could therapy help me?

Knowing what your problems are is important. It can be helpful to know if these problems are a pattern that marks your life. You may know your problems, but feel “stuck” about how to cope with them, or you may struggle to make risky and painful decisions about change. These are things a therapist can help you with. I am fond of saying that therapists don’t know how to live life better than other people, but they do have certain skills to listen, to clarify, and to make things more comfortable to talk about and act on. Because a therapist is not a friend or family member, their ability to “unpack” life’s baggage is unique. Nobody leaves my office for the last time “problem free”, since life doesn’t work that way. But people enter therapy feeling troubled and leave therapy with a clarity and sense of power they are grateful for.

How do I know a therapist is right for me?

Just as in any relationship, there is “chemistry” in psychotherapy. Usually, a person coming to a therapist for the first time will feel comfortable with their therapist, but it is perfectly fine to consult with a few therapists before choosing one. Most times, a therapist will be happy to work with you, so you don’t have to fear judgment or rejection in coming to the first session. A good therapist will also be attuned to how well they are prepared to treat your issues of concern; if the therapist you reach out to does not consider themselves a good match, they will often attempt to help with a referral toward a more appropriate match for you. 

How do I know therapy is helping me?

Research clearly shows that therapy helps most people, and often people feel relief and benefit after only a few meetings. There are different ways of assessing, or measuring the benefits of therapy. While researchers and insurance companies tend to focus on reduction of symptoms, patients often rely on more subjective ways of assessing whether therapy is helping them. You are the best judge of whether you are making progress and feeling better.

the sources of My problems aren’t going to go away. Is it Helpful to talk about them anyway?

Some problems go away, and some problems you have to live with. Therapy is a detailed but non-judgmental talk about what is going on in your life. Sometimes there is a clear agenda, and sometimes the exploration of therapy has less of a road map. But therapy is a process that allows us to understand patterns in our lives. The knowledge of these patterns allows us to make new choices and have new ways of feeling about ourselves. When this process emerges, even problems we have to live with can feel very different.

I worry that Therapy may be uncomfortable or awkward; how would we manage this discomfort?

Facing discomfort "in the real world" may be fraught with tangible consequences. In contrast, a therapeutic relationship allows us to explore difficult areas of your experience in a private, more protected arena. Yes, this can be uncomfortable, but interestingly, and paradoxically, while in therapy with me you can feel comfortable with your discomfort. When discomfort becomes too acute, we can recognize this and ease off, returning later to difficult subjects as you return to a state of greater ease. And we can explore management of your discomfort, itself. This is one reason why so many people value and insist that they enjoy their therapy, despite the discomfort that may be inherent in working on challenging aspects of our experience. 

In your decisions about what you can share with your therapist, please know that I am comfortable and skilled in discussing a vast range of experiences, values, relationship models, and aspects of personal identity. Whether or not we share the same background, I approach my patients with an open, curious, and attentive mind. 

Becoming confident that your therapist has your wellness in mind, and not their own life's agenda, is an important ingredient of your work together. The decision about what to share is one that you may face again and again in therapy, which in turn can help you to build related skills in your everyday life. 

How long does therapy last?

This is a question that is left to the client to decide. The person I’m working with can tell me when they’ve reached their goals, or simply want to take a break for a while. While many people benefit from brief therapy (which is often defined as less than 10 meetings), other people stay in therapy for a longer period. Usually, there is a point where the first layer of problems have been handled. Then one can choose to stay and work more deeply on questions that may have been the foundation of the initial problems, or work on new concerns that may emerge. Therapy is not endless and is entirely voluntary. If you decide to leave, you can always return in the future.

Do people take medication and go to therapy at the same time?

Most people in my practice do not take medication, but simply engage in “talk therapy” or psychoanalysis, which is a more intensive therapy modality. At the same time, certain symptoms and conditions are best treated with a combination of talk therapy and medication. I often tell patients that you don't get a gold star for doing things the hardest way possible. Referrals to a psychiatrist for medications are easily done, and must be handled by a clinician with an M.D. degree (not a psychologist or social worker).

How much does therapy cost?
How does appointment scheduling work?

Dr. Posner's fee is $300 for a session. Dr. Posner works to agree to a fee that is affordable to the patient, and thus she has a sliding scale. You may contact Dr. Posner to discuss how a sliding scale is determined.

Please familiarize yourself with Dr. Posner's system for scheduling, paying for, and managing appointments. It is designed to maximize clarity and mutual respect, while minimizing effort for all.